Fighting

I was going to tell you that she died. I was going to tell you about how with clenched arms around my neck and her head nuzzled under my chin, she suffered through her last hours as her little lungs gasped for every breath. Up and down, up and down, much too fast to count, I watched her ribs waiting for the rhythm to skip a beat. She buried her face in my chest and wouldn't let me help her breathe just held tight around my neck. Countless times I went to measure her oxygen sats and she lifted her sweet little finger and placed it in the machine, a routine we have done over and over the last few weeks. 56% 55% 54% 51%....I turned it off and I gave up. A sucker punch to the gut. I stopped trying to rack my brain for anything else we could try and I prayed that Jesus would take her fast.

But instead, I'm going to tell you that she is in the room next to me fighting. She stabilized overnight and Anna stayed up with her making sure to keep her fevers down and her oxygen up. We got a faintly positive malaria test on her yesterday so we have an ng tube in and have started her on malaria meds as well as TB meds since she has yet to respond to anything else. Please, please pray specifically for these things.

- Malaria meds to work quickly
- Fever to stay down
- oxygen sats to stay up
- heart rate to stay down
- a new IV site, she has been stuck so many times that we can't get an IV in.